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When I was 24, my parents asked me if I have chosen any partner to spend the rest of my life with. After my denial, they asked me if it is the right time to start looking for my groom. I had finished my education, I was working at a good MNC with a good package, so I thought I can start the process. My parents never burdened me with their choices or decision and so even this time I was asked for my preferences. I told my father, “You tell me first what it should be, I’ll figure out.” He told me very frankly, “He should be smart looking, he must be well behaved & he should be earning at least 3 times more than what you do.” The search started & it was difficult than I thought. I do not remember the number, but I met at least 10 boys before meeting my soulmate. I met some boys myself, but many of them were dealt with family only. I was fine with rejection because, as I said I did not fit in the definition of a good girl. But after meetings, there used to be no response from any of the boys. I was unable to understand what was wrong, I was furious at all of them, at least let me know why I am being rejected. That’s bad manners. I was depressed, I took a break from my job and then started a new one. Life stood still. My parents never told me anything, but I knew they were worried now. My father was always proud of me, he used to tell me, “I will never have to worry about you, I know you can handle yourself.” I kept this in mind and started enjoying my new job.
fit into my father’s standards and my mother liked him too. Now the question haunting me was, ‘Will I be a perfect bride?’ In Maharashtrians, the bride wears a shaalufor their wedding. I told my mother, “Shaalu is too old fashioned, I am not going to wear it.” She said, “What will the groom’s family think?” It was my wedding, why was I supposed to think that. From here started my journey of becoming the imperfect bride. I was supposed to be calm and composed while talking to my future husband and his family. I couldn’t do that either. Everyone started suppressing my voice. They used to say, “All you have to do is stand there during the rituals, rest all leave upon us.” I was fine with that because the main choice of the groom was done and I was happy. I tried my best to reach up to the mark of being the perfect bride. On my D- day, my father told me, “You are my perfect daughter and I know you are going to be a perfect wife, so don’t worry about being a perfect bride. You are imperfectly perfect.”
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| Me- As an imperfect bride |
Beautifully written…..
Thanks a lot.