May I?

I have grown up as an obedient kid. Since childhood, I have asked my parents for certain things and if they say no, I would obey. As I started growing up and the hormones in the body started playing with my brain cells, things changed. I would rage my anger if I would get a denial for anything from my parents or guardians. Slowly, I stopped seeking permission, I would gently inform my parents about my plans or my deeds. It was obvious they took some time to understand or accept the change but as time moved on, they did. And I got the habit of following my heart and brain; though I would consider my family while doing anything because I did not want to hurt anyone intentionally. I say this because whatever you do someone always feel bad about it. But in such cases, you remain guilt-free because that was not your intent.

My mother gave me a few lessons before I got married. One of them was to seek permission from in-laws and husband for everything I do because our society blames everything on the girls’ parents for her wrong deeds. My mother said, “My job was just till here, we have done our best and now you have to do your best. I will never interfere in your life unless you ask me to. This is what my mother did and this is what I am going to follow.” I was geared up and as my Mum said, I would ask permissions for stepping out to meet my friends or relatives. In the beginning, everything went well, they would agree and let me do what I wanted to. But slowly things changed and the permissions stated, ‘But you just met your brother last week!’ or ‘ You may go to meet your friends but be back in 2 hours’ or ‘ why you always want to visit your relatives. They don’t even invite you’ or ‘do whatever you want to do.’

How is one supposed to respond to these replies? The biggest permission is to meet my own parents. Their are certain times when I miss them crazy and want to meet them but because they stay 4 hours away I restrain myself. Even if I ask the answer is always, ‘Ya. You may go later. You met them last month.’

Unfortunately I am not one of those girls who are of the opinion, ‘My husband’s house is my only house’. I still call my mother’s house as mine because that is my first house.

My lesson learnt is, ‘Its ok to obey in-laws or husband for certain small things like not meeting relatives or friends or roaming out again and again but meet your parents whenever you feel like meeting them. Because your parents will always be your first family. The first people you have interacted with.  Be a rebel if you want to but this does not mean you insult anyone.

P.S- It is not okay to drag your parents in your personal life. And if they stay far away try to visit them once every 2 months.