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I am a short-tempered person and believe me it is not good to be one. After my marriage was fixed my mother kept telling me to stay calm, to control my anger; because, ‘society kya kahegi’!! Well, I tried and tried real hard to be calm and composed but as you all would know, ‘Old habits die hard’, same happened to me. Though I was calmer, I had not reached a stage where my mother would be happy. She keeps telling me the same thing even now and I keep repeating the same thing, “Mummy, I have improved, and I have reached the limit now. I am not going to change anymore.”
My husband on the other hand, is opposite of me, he is calm and does not get angry in a jiffy. I am not saying he does not get angry, but he takes time, it builds up and then he explodes. He gives many chances to me before exploding on me. As I stay with my in-laws, I try to be calm at least while dealing with them but I vent my anger either on my husband or my kid and most of the time it is the later one in the spotlight.
I keep yelling at him for everything. Right from waking him till he sleeps in the night, I keep shouting at him. My husband was annoyed by this habit, he even tried to lure me, “Don’t shout at him on weekend (48 hours) and I will buy you whatever you want to.” But I could not spare my own child for even 4 hours. Last Sunday, we went shopping for my kid and right there, I decided that I am not going to get angry on my child for no reason. Every time I spoke to him, I was extra soft and careful about every word I used. Before bedtime when I told my husband about my decision, he was very happy. It’s been 5 days that I have not shouted at my kid and I am surprised how much it has affected him.
He is happier, playful and smiling more than ever and I am at peace in my head. I am not sure how long I will be in this zone but I want to stay in it forever because nothing else matters to me than my kid’s smile and the zen feeling.
“Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you”- Robert Fulgham
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